O.K. boys..... listen up......STOP GOING TO THE BATHROOM WITH THE NEWSPAPER! It's bad enough that we, as women, have to consistently put the toilet seat back down and clean up the pee pee that lost it's way during direct aim (which, btw, is a BIG circle and not difficult to make the bulls eye!)......but I refuse to pipe down when it comes to fecal-germ-ridden publications.
This is just bad sanitary juju. I positively lose my religion when I see any man go to the bathroom with a piece of literature. Really? Can't you just dump and go? Why do you have to lounge and catch up on the economy while emptying your bowels? And your long walk down the hall with the sports page just announces what you're doing. Plus, I'd wager 95% of you dirty dawgs don't wash your hands---yuk!
No woman would ever do this. It's just plain icky and embarrassing (for you!) And, p.s., DON'T put the contaminated literature back on the coffee table! That's just plain terrible. I shouldn't need a Tetanus shot every time I read People Magazine. C'MON!
You know how there is always a line for the ladies' room at a public establishment but never a men's line? It's because we, as proud clean ladies, would never, in our right minds, step foot in your pee-soaked, urine-stenched, poop-stained, no-hand-washing, wipe-your-foul-hands-grubbing-on-the-newspaper havin' bathroom.
I'll wait. Til my bladder is about to pop and my $200 jeans are soaked with urine. I'll wait. But thank you for offering to let me cut in line........
Oh my Von Sassy Pants, you have really stepped into it this time! However, as gentlemen we do need to be more mindful of this. I suggest we carry the Arts and Lesiure section of the newspaper down the hall to said "can", and leave the reading the Sports page to being laid out on the Barcalounger, scratching and waiting for a day of football in front of the tellie!
ReplyDeleteAnother great blog post - keep 'em coming! I will pass along to my species that we need to clean it up a notch.