I Scream You Scream We All Scream for Boxed Wine

Recently our neighborhood grocery store started selling wine. There had been rumblings and talk among mommies in the hood for months, "Did you hear the news?  We are getting wine down the street!"..."I heard it will be in stock next week"..."I can't remember the last time I was this excited"..."the ability to drive 200 yards down the way to buy vino....."  This was noteworthy of a designated holiday.....Mommy Wine Day

We were all like bright-eyed children awaiting Santa Claus.

With much anticipation, the day finally arrived.  I hopped in my car and sped down the way....still in blissful disbelief that mommy grape juice was literally down the street. I ran into the grocery store, waved hello to the cashiers and produce folks, and sprinted to what I thought would be the wine aisle. 

I was met by a crowd of angry women who were ready to take somebody down-think witch hunts.  "Are you freaking kidding me? This is what they are touting as wine?"  "Seriously, this is complete b.s. Where's the effing manager?" 

When I finally crammed my big head through the wolfpack to see for myself, I understood what all the commotion was about.  There were three choices of wine and the prices ranged from $2.97 to $4.98.  And I'm not kidding.  One brand claimed to be a "Red Table Wine" but it was more of a burnt orange color.  This was an outrage.  Didn't these people know this shit would never fly in our cul-de-sac?  Where was the good stuff?  The $9 bottles?  COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

I found my favorite bag boy and pulled him aside, "David, what's going on here? Is this a joke?  Are we being Punk'd? Where's the good stuff?"   He gave me a sly smile and said they were still stocking and to wait just a minute....he'd go get me the high-rent stash....Aces!  I felt so VIP, so elite, so special.  I had a personal shopper on the inside who saved the best for me.....wow.

I walked around the corner of the aisle with him and eagerly awaited as he disappeared through the double doors.  He came out moments later, a spring in his step and a big goofy smile on his face, carrying a bottle I didn't recognize....he stopped in front of me....proudly displaying the treasured "good stuff".  "Mrs. Bennett, here is your Arbor Mist....."