Wanna' Feel Like A Supermodel? Go To A Theme Park

Both my kids love to go to theme parks and amusement parks.  They will ride any and every ride and want to arrive when the gates open and stay until last call.  Next to camping, I think going to an amusement park is the biggest whip and beating.  Last year my hubby bought season passes to Six Flags; my kids were overjoyed and I was so pissed!  I wanted to punch his lights out.

I'm scared to death of rollercoasters, I can't be strapped into anything and I have a fear of heights too. So basically, if you want to have a fun time don't invite me.....unless you need a pack mule to schlep around everyone else's junk......"Mom, hold this...Mom, take that....Mom, here's my trash." You know the drill...kids can blow and go all day long, but you ask them to hold a piece of paper for you and they completely lose it.  With all the idle standing around time I have while my family frolicks and plays at Six Flags, I tick away the minutes people watching and trying to find the worst-dressed person possible.  And let me tell you--the competition is fierce.  I just do not understand what some people are thinking. 

The last time we were at the park, I witnessed a woman wearing pajamas.  Not loose fitting, drawstring pants....but pajamas.  The Homer Simpson images that decorated her p.j.'s were outnumbered by food stains and the fuzzy pink slippers she paired with the ensemble were giant germ traps.  I watched her go in and out of the bathroom, dragging her hairy shoes through all sorts of sticky muck and garbage.  Was she going to wear these slippers in her house?  Were these slippers only used for public outings?  Who knows?!!?!?  She was a fashion disaster and it was shocking. And I loved watching every minute of it......

During our same visit, I was befriended by a woman who was also waiting for her family at the end of a ride.  She was so nice, seemed so normal, but her attire was unbelievable: Daisy Dukes, an impressive collection of tats, stilletto heels, and a tight belly shirt that read "I Got Da' Skillz To Pay Da' Billz". Wow.  Double Wow. That took some guts.

We left the park later that night and when my husband asked me how I was holding up, I surprised him by responding with a hearty, "I feel terrific! And I can't wait to come back here soon....this place makes me feel like a supermodel."